TutoringChapter one: Yuuhlikworra
by Izzy Ilmol
Summary: UlquiorraXWonderwice. Yes, it's a crackish in the words of another: that's freaking crystal meth there pairing, but I like it. Yaoi. BoyXBoy. Don't own Bleach. UlquiWonder. AU. T for now, maybe M later.


**Me::Argh. So braindead for my other stories. Besides, I need to write Bleach yaoi...I can't do Yullen any justice...so I'm doing one of my favorite pairings in Bleach. Complete crack. X3 X3 X3 If you don't like the pairing...don't read it, smart ones!! I don't like flames. If you flame me, I'll flame you right back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *crosses arms defiantly***

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or its character, as they belong to Bleach. Fanfic=fanmade. Not origfic or whatever you'd call it.**

**Warnings: Yaoi. BoyXboy. Shounen-ai. Slight yuri/girlXgirl/shoujo-ai. Horrible writing skills. Crack pairing. AU/alternate universe, meaning that I just took the characters of Bleach and some plotlines/names from the original Bleach, and this is a different world. Some OOCness, cuz I'm a not-so-good writer and to write yaoi, you have to bend their personalities sometimes.  
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**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I'm gonna advertise something real quick. X3 X3 X3 Full Shadow Alchemist is holding a Bleach Romance contest. You can read about it on her forum, here.**

/forum/Bleach_Romances_Fanfiction_Contest/61295/

**So please sign up and show off your writing skills!! Okay, now...**

**Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease review. I want your feedback, and bad. :) I would love lots of criticism, it helps me become a better writer and that's what I aim to do. Reviews make meh happy. But. I would not like any reviews like this.**

**'I hate this story!! It sucks!! You suck!! You can't write for shit!! Go stick your head in a box and die, bitch!! Love and kisses, Yaoi-hater18.'**

**That will make me very sad. :( And when I'm sad, I blow things up. :D**

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**A slender, pale form was moving gradually in the direction of Las Noches High School, cloaked heavily by the thick gray fog settling over the town. The large turquoise orbs resting in the young figure's face were concealed as they were being protected by a set of thin fingers from any stray trash. A clear, piercing sound rang through the town, digging into the ears of any unlucky bypasser who happened to be taking a pleasure stroll (in this fog?) on the cool November morning. The faint silhouette against the mist of dull gray took no notice; being late was a normal thing.

It wasn't as if Ulquiorra Schiffer had any parents to drive him to school, or the money to get on a bus every morning.

As the young man opened the dark-wooded, uninviting front doors of Las Noches, he hesitating before turning the dull brass doorknob. It was locked. Ulquiorra sighed as he quickly took out a short, bent metal object that seemed to be a key of some sort. Moments later, the door was opened.

He walked in the door. As usual, the white hallways and matching floors greeted him with grim silence and unwelcoming stare. They were deserting, with still the occasional loose paper fluttering from a recently closed door.

If it were not for his constant five-minute morning absence, Ulquiorra would be the top student in the school. He knew it as well.

He sighed and began to head for his first class--science. With his principal.

He walked in the classroom. The class looked up briefly at his entrance, then continued their various conversations, though he'd hear the occasional comment or snicker.

Ulquiorra went to sit down in the only available seat--unfortunately in between two of his least favorite people: a certain blue-haired teen and a tall, lanky man with teeth that should be illegal.

"Hey, look who it is!" Grimmjow said, grinning widely at Nnoitra.

"Emo boy," Nnoitra answered, grinning back at Grimmjow, though his was quite a bit more disturbing.

"The fag is now here!"

"Aw, is da widdul emo fag gonna staht cwying?"

"You couldn't tell either way, the way he does his makeup every day!"

"Makeup! How gay is he, wearing _makeup_?"

"Hey, asshole, I wear makeup!"

"Yeah, but you're hot enough to get away with it!" Nnoitra finished.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Nnoitra."

Ulquiorra sighed and sunk a little lower in his seat, pulling out a notebook.

Nnoitra grinned as Grimmjow shoved him.

A small fight ensued, capturing the teacher's attention.

A man with brown hair that had currently been writing on the whiteboard turned around, his eyes flashing. "Is something wrong there, Jiruga? Jeagerjagues?" he said in a quiet, dangerous voice.

Grimmjow and Nnoitra instantly quieted and seperated. "No, Mr. Aizen," Grimmjow said in a small voice.

Aizen's eyes suddenly looked normal again. "If I catch anyone fighting again, there'll be hell to pay," he said smoothly.

There seemed to be a simultaneous gulp throughout the room.

Ulquiorra stayed silent, though he'd felt a sudden urge to laugh at the two guilty teens.

No one spoke through the entire lesson except for Aizen, and the occasional unlucky student he chose to answer a question about three grades above their level.

Ulquiorra managed to stay silent throughout the day, taking the insults and taunts about him unblinkingly and without flinching.

Until, finally, a teacher pulled him aside.

He recognozed him as the Special Ed teacher as well as detention monitor.

Mr...what was his name? Toren? Tosen, maybe?

"Hello, Mr...Tosen," Ulquiorra said.

"Hello, Ulquiorra. As you know, you're one of our top students. You'd be the top if you would only get to school on time."

Ulquiorra gritted his teeth. "Yes, go on."

"We--Principal Aizen and I--were wondering if you would offer to tutor one of our...less acclompished students."

Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"What do you say, Ulquiorra?"

"...who will I be tutoring?"

Tosen smiled. "It's very kind of you to do this, Ulquiorra."

Hold on. When did Ulquiorra sign up for this?? All he did was ask a question.

"Most of our students don't have a big enough heart--or enough justice--to do this for a lower-level student."

Damn.

"His name is Margera."

Margera? _Him_? Margera sounded like an old-lady name.

"Margera has been in our special education program for quite a while, and though he's shown progress, we feel we aren't getting through to him. We thought that if he was closer to children his age--"

Children? Ulquiorra wasn't a child. Not even close.

A small blonde boy with large purple eyes wobbled out of a room and sat down on the hallway floor, hiding partially behind Tosen and half peeking out at Ulquiorra curiously.

Oh boy. Ulquiorra knew that kid. Wonderwice, they called him. Ulquiorra had known _him _since elementary school.

_A small Ulquiorra sat in the sand, just letting the sand fall through his fingers as he watched the others on the playground. A boy, with rather long blonde hair and the biggest purple eyes Ulquiorra had ever seen, was on a swing. He was moving his legs, trying to pump them enough to get in the air. In his arms he held a...thing that might have once been a teddy bear, but was now mutated beyond recognition as any doll. (_Read Bleach 364..._)_

_A group of boys--one with blue hair, one taller than any child should legally be, and a slouching brown-haired boy--were laughing at the child. They walked over, accidentally kicking sand in his face. The young boy looked up and smiled, making the boys laugh even more. Ulquiorra watched unblinkingly as the blue-haired one, known as Grimmjow, walked right up to the boy. "You're Wonderwice, aren't you?" he asked with a smirk._

_The boy--Wonderwice?--opened his mouth. "Yeawooooooah," were his exact words. Grimmjow and the two other boys burst out laughing. Wonderwice, not sure why, smiled and joined in. _

_The tall child walked next to Grimmjow. "Yeawooooghfwrroooooo? Mommy?" he mimicked. Grimmjow laughed. "Nnoitra, don't call his mommy! She might hit us with her big ol' teddy bear, too!"_

_Wonderwice's smile was starting to disappear. His lip quivered slightly. Ulquiorra frowned a little. He didn't care for the small boy, yet Grimmjow and Nnoitra weren't being fair to him._

_Grimmjow shoved Wonderwice. The swing he was on jerked a little, and Wonderwice's smile returned. "Ooooah," he said to Grimmjow, which probably translated into 'thank you'. However, Grimmjow obviously took it as 'I'm a little retard, so kick me around all you want'._

_Nnoitra then grinned--damn, he had a scary smile--and shoved Wonderwice the other way. Grimmjow and Nnoitra began pushing him back and forth. Wonderwice laughed in delight, his purple eyes sparkling._

_The third boy came up and shoved Wonderwice even harder. Wonderwice tumbled out of the swing, landing facedown into the hard ground. He put his face up, which has a small scratch on it that was beginning to bleed. His chin trembled as he scrambled, looking for his doll._

_The brown-haired boy held up Wonderwice's doll with a smirk._

_"Starrk, gimme that!" Grimmjow yelled, grinning as he tore the doll from Starrk's hands._

_Wonderwice's eyes widened as he watched his precious doll being handled so roughly. The purple orbs resting in his face were temporarily thrown out of focus with slight tears._

_"No, give it to me!" Nnoitra said, his grin streching widely across his snake-like face. He pulled it out of Grimmjow's hands._

_A small fight over the bloated doll followed._

_"Waaaaaaooooooaaaa!" Wonderwice said in a protesting voice, his face showing hurt as he reached his hand out for the doll._

_He was ignored by all three boys. Grimmjow tore the doll from Nnoitra's hands in one final triumphant tug._

_Before Ulquiorra's eyes, the doll was torn in half._

_Starrk laughed._

_Wonderwice's eyes filled with tears of disbelief and the loss of his doll. "Suupa," he exclaimed sadly._

_Grimmjow kicked Wonderwice. "Shuttup, ya little retard."_

_Before Ulquiorra knew what he was doing, he was in front of Grimmjow, having shoved him away from the small boy. "Leave him alone, faggot."_

_Grimmjow looked temporarily thrown off guard, then smirked. "What are you going to do, you little Emo?"_

_Ulquiorra hadn't heard the term before, but he ignored it. "I said leave him alone."_

_The small boy peeked from behind his fingers at the figure in front of him, the image slightly blurred by tears._

_Grimmjow snorted in disbelief. "C'mon, Starrk, Nnoitra. Let's leave the lovebirds alone." With that, he walked off._

_Wonderwice looked at him. "Suupa. Yawooooooooooooeeeeeeeeea."_

_Ulquiorra looked back at him. "...this doesn't mean we're friends," he said, putting his hands in his pockets and walking off._

Since then, Wonderwice would look at him like he was some amazing god or something.

Ulquiorra would again put his hands in his pockets and look down, pretending he didn't know him.

He didn't like that he was ashamed to have defended the small blonde.

"Ulquiorra? Ulquiorra?" Tosen was trying to get his attention.

Ulquiorra looked up. "What?"

"We'll need to know when you can start tutoring."

Well...at least now Ulquiorra would have an excuse for Wonderwice knowing him.

"Anytime."

Tosen smiled. "You're a wonderful student for doing this."

Wonderwice smiled at Ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra managed a shrug and slight nod in his direction.

"Just wonderful. Now, I usually walk him home, but would you like to do it today?"

Ulquiorra shrugged. He didn't care either way.

Tosen began giving him directions.

Five minutes later, Wonderwice was walking in that weird way of his, his hands grasping Ulquiorra's much paler one.

Ulquiorra walked in front of a small house. There were no cars in the driveway, indicating Wonderwice's parents weren't home. Big deal. Most high school students didn't have their parents home when they got home.

"When do your parents get home?"

Wonderwice just looked at Ulquiorra with wide eyes.

"Never mind," Ulquiorra muttered. He tried the doorknob--unlocked. He opened it and walked in the house.

Everything was either purple or blue.

There was a light blue wall, a navy blue wall, a bright fuschia wall...then the floors. Blue tile here. Purple carpet there.

A lamb with a purple lampshade.

A blue couch with purple cushions.

It was a little overwhelming to Ulquiorra, who was used to his green, white, and black home. Wonderwice sat down on the floor and looked under a chair, then quickly stood up, yet still crouching slightly as he always did.

Ulquiorra stayed still until Wonderwice tugged on the sleeve of his jacket.

Wonderwice's face hardened as he seemed to be concentrating very hard on something. He seemed to be strained.

"Yuuu..yuuhl...Yuuhlik...yuuhlikworra."

Did Wonderwice just try to say Ulquiorra?

"Yuuhlikworra! Yuuhlikworra!"

Ulquiorra sighed. If that was as far as he'd gotten since elementary school...this tutoring job was going to take a lot of work.

However, it was a pretty big feat for a kid like him.

"Yuuhlikworra!"

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**Me::That's it. No, just kidding. That's only the first chapter. X3 X3 X3 I have a feeling no one is going to read this...because I'm the only one who likes the pairing...DX**


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